Monthly Archives: October 2014

Chronic Illness vs The Medical Establishment

First, the artwork. I considered using Eduard Munch’s “The Scream.” But by now, that’s probably the most overused and parodied piece of art from any period. So what I have here: a drawing by the English novelist, William Makepeace Thackeray. No … Continue reading

Posted in anger, disability, disease, fighting back, pain | Leave a comment

Panic attacks, Part 2: A chapter of autobiography

Contrary to what I said before, panic attacks are in fact describable. At least by allusion, metaphor, and candied bullshit. It remains difficult to describe the internalized misery, the downright terror that comes upon us. It’s the Bristol, Pennsylvania earthquake all … Continue reading

Posted in anger, depression, panic | 3 Comments

Panic Attacks: No handholds

I have had few enough of these, and the memories therefore are somewhat vague and escape specific description. But what I remember is of perfect horror. A few years ago I was living in an apartment in Bristol, Pennsylvania. Aside … Continue reading

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Bitter waters: “Whose Life Is It Anyway?”

To set the mood, let’s begin with a relevant hit tune sung by the late Bulgarian soprano, Ghena Dimitrova. Her character, La Gioconda (was there ever a greater operatic irony?–“The happy girl”?), is contemplating taking her own life (Plot Spoiler: she does it): … Continue reading

Posted in depression, hope and hopelessness, suicide | 2 Comments

Untherapeutic therapists

“Seek professional help.” Yeah, Ken, you’re a bana: that’s 2/3 bananas. Well, I had indeed sought help over the years. Starting with Junior High School, I’d been on and off under some therapist’s care. Some of them were boot-clicking fascists who couldn’t get … Continue reading

Posted in anger, bipolar, rage, uncertainty | 2 Comments

Nice to have friends as crazy as you

First, a few words from today’s sponsor, Ms. Carrie Fisher, self-admitted drunk, druggie, and bipolar sufferer: http://www.bphope.com/Item.aspx/280/hollywood-kid-carrie-fisher-and-her-best-awful- I love Carrie Fisher, okay? She’s a much more talented, much better-looking, and even sharper-tongued version of this blogger. Not that I’ve ever met … Continue reading

Posted in dis-ease, drugs, hope | 2 Comments

Misanthropy and the inner self

How I spend Shabbat…blogging about why I hate people? Oy. Too rainy to go out, joints, back, and feet rather hurt, so this is my form of sharing my world. If you like, it is a form of worship. Even if you don’t … Continue reading

Posted in anger, drugs, misanthropy, rage | 2 Comments